I've got a tattoo on my foot that reads "sento"
It came from the hands of an italian woman in an irish parlor
we laughed as I cried at the pain
after all, sento means "I feel"
she wrapped my foot in plastic and we smoked a joint and went dancing
just before I caught my flight back to the states
I came across the word in a small workshop in Florence
the artist had it printed on her jewelry
I asked her what it meant
'I feel' she said,
as she explained how that word embodied so many things-
a sense of freedom and fullness
anyone who knows me well, will tell you I need no help with this
'She came out of the womb with that word on her foot', they'd say
feeling is something I have always done fully
concealing has never been my specialty
'let it be' is not the course of action i usually take
I'm a mover, I'm a shaker
I like to feel all the feelings
and leave no stone unturned
I'm not one to back down
and it's fine until the tough things start to kick in
the confusion, the doubt, the loneliness, the vulnerability
because then I want to immediately resolve it
then I do something rash
I start acting out of self preservation
I have the conversation prematurely
Tears fall as I revert to worst case scenario-
the world is closing in on me
doubt is the only sound I can hear
and then I regret it all
this is when my feelings don't give me freedom and they don't make me full
they steal happiness
and they make me heavy
repelling all of my self that i love so much
my laughter, my freeness, my lightness
they make me easy during the good times
and more than challenging during the bad
can someone else see past that much
could they love me that fully
i tell myself yes, then I wonder if the answer is really no
sento.
sento.
