Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Cup

"Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"

I thought that when I turned 16 and had my license, I would be happy. I looked forward to the day that I graduated high school, because on that day I would really start living. I couldn't wait to move into my dorm because the only thing my life was lacking was a little freedom. Life would just instantly become better the day I was officially a freshman at Auburn.

My whole life I have been so caught up on the next big thing. My whole life I have been thoroughly disappointed when "the next big thing" gets here and it's not what it's cracked up to be. 

Always discontent. Always finding something to complain about. This seems like a much easier road than that of contentment. "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God" is not an easy thing to do. It takes humility to admit and to accept that God's will and where He has you right now is best. I know I personally like to think that Madelyn's way is always the best, and time and time again the Lord puts reminders in my life that this is not the case. But when we stop fighting, and humble ourselves to give thanks like the Scriptures say and drink of the cup that the Father has given us, we begin to see the beauty in the words of 1 Corinthians 6:19- "you are not your own." It just takes off so much pressure.  When I acknowledge the Lord's hand over my life, I don't have to be worried about myself or my circumstances because I know that I am taken care of, enabling me to focus my attention to others. It really is a beautiful process. 

My first few weeks of college have been kind of crazy and not anything at all what I expected. The first week especially, I just kind of got lost in who I was, forgetting the value of being true to myself. It's been tough, to be honest. I  would constantly find myself in a place of discontentment, wishing that I wasn't still in my hometown and wondering why on earth God has me where He does. School and work is a lot, and then sorority stuff is just a whole other story. I was not ready to actually have to work to make friends after going through rush. I think all of just expected to be instant best friends. I know Alpha Gam is where the Lord wants me and I have met SO many wonderful girls there, but it's still just so hard sometimes- being in such a huge group of girls and trying to find people you connect with. On a weekly basis, the intimidation of getting up in front of all my pledge sisters as someone who is supposed to be leading a devotion never fails to remind me that the Lord is in complete control. I don't think I've ever been more humbled. He has His own plans for me, and all I can do is trust in that. The Lord has been faithful as always, putting some really awesome girls in my life and drawing me closer to some girls who I've known for awhile(I hope ya'll are reading this because I love you!). Right now I'm trusting, praying that all of this griping and complaining with become a distant memory and being comforted in the fact that there's alot of people going through the same exact thing I am. Don't get me wrong- I've been having a great time, there's just been some struggles along the way.

So, overall I'm learning contentment, as well as surrender. I am exactly where the Lord wants me. I don't have to have everything figured out all the time. Life will go on. Love God, love others.

BTW- Guess who aced their first two college tests?!! Oh and Ben Rector's new cd came out!! #winning

Yes, I did just hashtag that.

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